May 20, 2004
(San Diego, CA)
Responsible Sheetz, known to many as "Sheetz Bitch", has thrown in the towel for the 2004 Philadelphia Beer Pong Tourney. Sheetz, who was riding into this event as the favored beer pong player due to a controvertial ranking, is out of the competition - making this tourney wide open for others to grab the beer pong title.
Sheetz History of Pong Success
Most Betas remember Sheetz Lady as a skinny and sometimes whimpy, whiney pong player at Dickinson. He was not known well as the powerhouse brand names like Mike Fortin "14", Sean Hanna "Oompa" or Matty Borick. However, as a B-level player, Sheetz, developed his skills primarily towards the end of DIckinson and into the 5-year post college fraternity lifestyle in Allston at the 6 Eleanor abode known to many as "6 E."
"Sheetz has come a long way in his beer pong skills," says coach Hap Miller. "Responsible Sheetz has spent more time on the beer pong table than running, which probably contributed to his running career slide and his beer pong career rise."
At 6 E with the help of roommate, Wildman Bill, the two forged a Pong training ground with a custom-made bar, man-made kegerator and Pong table donated from none other than "Bill's Mom." The basement has been visited by many great pong faces including Todd Spinger, Victor Koong, Mr. X, Mattro and others. This training ground is really where Sheetz started to the top in strengthening his confidence and positioning as a premier pong player.
"As Sheetz's beer pong doubles partner for more than a decade," Wildman mentioned, "I can say that Sheetz's skills contribute tremendously to make us a strong team. Usually one of us is "on the cup " and it makes the opposition very intimidated. Just don't knock over Sheetz's plant if you get drunk. Then all hell will break loose."
Sheetz's Beer Pong Ranking
Most disconcerting to other Beer Pong players in the tourney was Sheetz's overall ranking. "How could Sheetz Lady be a top beer pong player?"
The rankings were based on attendence and performance at the major pong tournaments in recent years. For instance, while Sean Hanna (aka Oompa) dominated in college, he was only sighted twice on the pong circuit. Oompa has an extremely strong track record in pong wins, with the exception on a beer pong match at Todd Spinger's wedding in which Wildman, the underdog, came up huge for the sneaky "No Mas" win. However, Responsible Sheetz has been a consistent player with a very strong attendence, which has given him the nod. He has not only attended the World Beer Pong Championships in Vegas twice, but he has been to DC Pong, San Fran Pong, won the Kaino Beer Pong tournament and was a participant in Wildwood I-IV championships at 6 E.
Sheetz Beer Pong Future
Responsible Sheetz will be attending a major pharmaceutical conference in Florida the weekend of the Philly Pong Tourney. Unfortunately, this major work event can not be skipped . Sheetz buttered us up with the thought that he might be able to fly in for 12 hours of Pong Punishment - especially with a kickoff match against rival "The Mole" Baker. Unfortunately, Sheetz will bestranded in Florida. We look forward to seeing him for a trifecta in Vegas.
